Suicide or DAY FOR MARRIAGE. Play for 2 people

ATTENTION! ALL COPYRIGHTS TO THE PLAY ARE PROTECTED BY THE LAWS OF RUSSIA AND INTERNATIONAL LAW, AND BELONG TO THE AUTHOR. IT IS FORBIDDEN ITS PUBLICATION AND REPUBLICATION, REPRODUCTION, PUBLIC PERFORMANCE, TRANSLATION INTO FOREIGN LANGUAGES, CHANGES IN THE TEXT OF THE PLAY IN THE FORMULATION WITHOUT THE WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR. THE PRODUCTION OF THE PLAY IS POSSIBLE ONLY AFTER A DIRECT CONTRACT IS CONCLUDED BETWEEN THE AUTHOR AND THE THEATER.

Comedy for two actors. Duration 50 minutes.

One-act play.

ACTOR

LIDA-a girl, 35 years old in the story;

GRISHA is a man about 40 years old.

Scenography:

A tree with a stronger and higher branch. Bushes, and all that is necessary for the wilderness.

FOREST

Wind noise is heard. Twilight.

A drunken Lida appears on the stage. He staggers a little, but stands on his feet. She has a beatific smile on her face.

My clothes are dirty and wet. In one hand, she barely holds a bottle of vodka, with some pitiful remnants at the bottom, in the other hand, a rope that drags her across the floor across the stage from behind the scenes.

The wind noise subsides, the focus of light falls on Lida.

Lida turns to face the viewer, and the second half of her face, which had never been visible before, has a huge black eye.

LIDA (to the audience, familiarly): Hi … (winks, smiles, waves a hand that barely holds the bottle) Well? How's life? Normal? (nod) But I'm not very good at it. I guess it's not hard to tell from the look of me, is it?

Lida walks a few steps, takes a SIP from her throat, and throws the bottle somewhere in the bushes.

LIDA (to the audience, familiarly, intricately): And today is my birthday!

(Here you can answer someone "thank you", if in the first rows there is a lively audience (or a DECOY), who went into a rage and congratulated the heroine in a low voice)

LIDA (to the audience, in a familiar, intricate, slurring way): yeah. Cassette word. (Looks at his watch) No, not honest. Now it turns out that my birthday was yesterday. Thirty-five cuts. (If the actress can, it would be nice to screw in a delicate belch here) Yes, Yes… Thirty-five! How much did you think? Twenty-nine? (he smiles and looks at the other side of the room) Twenty-six? (looks to the third part of the room) Forty? (unpleasant frowns in the face). I'm thirty-five. I don't have a baby or a kitten… My family doesn't understand me, I have friends… Not anymore. (Sits down on the floor, or rather plops down) Were, but… they all jumped up… bitches. In General, they are all not up to me now. And here I am alone… All alone… Remember how it is there… who's there? I do not remember… (quotes) "Good girl Lida! In desperation, he wrote." In despair… All right. All about me. By the way, let's get acquainted-Lida! (he puts out his hand, greeting the audience).

He rises, trying to keep his balance.

LIDA (to the viewer): Okay… We met…, talked… It is time and honor to know.

He pulls up the rope, looks around, finds a tree, selects a stronger branch. Aiming, trying to throw a rope on a branch so that it is tied or snagged. But she can't do anything. However, the girl is persistent in her attempts. Breathless and imaterialise solely by facial expressions, it again continues its course.

Grisha enters the stage. He's in a tuxedo. Dressed very well, expensive. Clean, shaven,but drooping. In one hand he has a" half-Cup " of lemonade, in the other a rope that drags along the stage behind him. Lida doesn't see him. He, in turn, does not see Lida.

The focus of the light shifts to Grisha. He carefully unscrews the lid, takes a single Cup out of his pocket, pours the drink into it, drinks, puts the Cup in his pocket, screws the lid on, puts the bottle on the floor.

GRISHA (to himself): That's it, Grisha is gone… Remember your name.

He pulls the rope to him in a doomed manner, immediately throws it over his hand in rings and purposefully turns to the tree, taking a few steps, where Lida is still trying to do something.

Gregory dies in a frenzy, the sight of this picture. He is outraged.

GRISHA (loudly, indignantly): Eh, citizen?

Lida turns around waddling in a kind of inadequate.

LIDA: aw, snap… Healthy! Look what a handsome man has come into this thicket. Hey, buddy, you're not a rapist, are you?

GRISHA (indignantly): What? Me? Are you out of your mind? No, of course not!

LIDA (upset): Damn it! And then it broke off.

Lida turns back to the tree and continues trying to throw the rope over the branch.

GRISHA: Citizen, I apologize…

LIDA (without turning around, upset, interrupts): Yes, go, I have already forgiven. You're not the first person to fail me.

GRISHA: Yes, I'm not about that! I… You… This is my tree! I took it forward!

Lida turns to the man with interest.

LIDA: AND?

GRISHA: I see you have an event planned here. Could you hold it somewhere else? This tree I looked for myself yesterday!

LIDA: What do you mean?"

GRISHA: Well, I also have an event planned. I have approached this question in detail. I chose a place far away from people, a taller tree, a stronger twig. In General, I decided on this tree yesterday. This is my tree. Find something else, please, and let me hang on to this!

LIDA: Why would that be? Right now! (swaying on his feet) I'm going to look for something somewhere. You can't see it, and I'm falling over. What kind of man went there? No respect for a woman. To the girl, rather.

GRISHA: Girl, you will excuse me, but any knot here will hold you, and I will have more weight. There are so offhandedly-that is impossible! The second time already you understand – already quite not the mood, if that…

LIDA: Listen, you're thorough. Go ahead… somewhere. I came first, and I'm here to hang out. Everything! This conversation is over!

Lida continues her attempts to throw the rope on the branch.

Grisha looks at this skeptically, moves aside and watches.

Lida tries everything, but nothing comes out.

GREGORY: Well, how long will I be here to witness this horror?

Lida turns wearily.

LIDA: is there anything else Here? What are you waiting for? This isn't a theater, there's nothing to see…

GRISHA: No, I just thought that since we can't agree on the choice of location, then let everyone remain with their own opinion, that's all.

Lida looks at the man as "a RAM on the new gate".

LIDA: don't you understand?

GRISHA: if you're Going to hang yourself, hang yourself, I'll wait. And then I'm right there. The branch is strong enough to hold both of us.

LIDA: What? Look what he wanted! I don't want to hang next to you. Let's get out of here. Business what was found.

GRISHA: Well … you never know what you want… Here you want – you don't want, but you have to!

LIDA (indignantly): Hear what? I don't want you and me swaying around like two assholes… You never know what people will think.

GREGORY: BUT you don't care who is there that will think?

LIDA (indignantly): No! I just don't care! I must hang alone, pitiful, misunderstood, and unheard… and not companionable and as someone might think-vicious!

GREGORY: it is interesting… Why are you so unheard and misunderstood? Tell me, while there are still a few minutes, can I understand and hear? So you look, and the reason for the event will not be…

Lida thinks about it. Glancing furtively at the door.

LIDA (with a sly smile): Decided to technically eliminate a competitor?

GRISHA: It might be a nice side effect, but I didn't think about it at all. Whether you hang out in that tree or not, it doesn't matter to me. I have decided to put my plan into execution and nothing will prevent it.

Lida puts the rope aside and sits down on the floor.

LIDA (with interest): Oh, Well, then you go first.

GRISHA: what am I?

LIDA: Well, what? First you tell me what drives men in suits like this to commit suicide, and then I will. I'm the first… (timidly) shy.

Grisha looks up at the Lido with out a doubt.

GRISHA: Listen, can I help you better? Give me the string, and I'll make it fast."

Grisha approaches Lida busily. But when she removes the rope, it's a cat-and-mouse game. Grisha does not manage to take the "tool of labor".

GRISHA: I don't understand? Are you going or not going? Let's somehow decide already, there's a line actually…

LIDA (with a twinkle): And I'm not going to report my actions or omissions to anyone I don't know. Let's get acquainted first, and then I'll think about whether to talk to you or not!

GRISHA (surprised): The business is! That's a woman's logic… Why would I want to meet you? Do you have a black eye?

Grisha points to the black eye.

Lida takes out a mirror, looks at it, then takes out a cosmetic bag with powder, or Foundation, and covers up the bruise. In the process of putting on make-up mimics, not looking at Grisha.

LIDA (mimics): You have a black eye over there…

She finishes her powder, looks in the mirror, and looks happy.

LIDA: All, no black eye, meet me!

Grisha thinks about it.

GRISHA (thinking aloud): Well…, in principle… I'm in no hurry. Okay… An hour earlier – an hour later…

Grisha goes up to Lida and holds out his hand in greeting.

GRISHA (with a nod): Grisha!

Lida returns the salute with a curtsey.

LIDA: Lida.

Grisha stands in a stupid position with his hand outstretched. He puts his hand behind his back.

GRISHA (through his teeth): Let's get acquainted.

Lida approaches Grisha in a boyish way and pushes him on the shoulder.

LIDA: What's so uncooperative, Grinya?

Grisha looks at what is happening in confusion. He wasn't used to this kind of familiarity.

GRISHA: Yes there is no…, not that…, I just don't really like it when something or someone interferes with my plans.

LIDA: Oh, come on. Your plans are not going anywhere. Well, if you want, I'll give it to you. And then I'll think about it, maybe I'll look for another branch, or maybe I will…

Lida shyly smiles, does not say anything, she clearly feels sympathy for Grisha.

GRISHA: What and....? What does this mean?

LIDA (after a pause): It doesn't mean anything. We have women in General, anything can mean one meaning and diametrically opposite at the same time!

GRISHA: It's true. I've lived for almost forty years and still haven't learned to understand women. Yes that there women. People! I observe this situation from time to time. You do a man good, and he hates you. And someone commits meanness after meanness, so they run to him in droves with open arms. It's not the others who are running, but the same ones! Those who were betrayed, who were set up, who… (he waves his hand without saying anything). But… What is happening in this world, how do you understand it? How can a person with a pure heart even exist here? Hard, Lida… It is very hard…

LIDA (soulful): Is that why you're here?

Grisha looks at Lida, looks away, thinks for a moment, and nods his head in response.

Lida looks down.

LIDA: I was brought here also not happy news. But … unlike you… this is not a General tragedy, but a personal one.

Grisha looks with interest at the Lido.

LIDA: I don't get married.

Grisha narrows his eyes in surprise.

LIDA: you're Laughing at me, aren't you?

GRISHA: Yes, no. I just suddenly thought about how many people in your life can be a casual gesture of refusal, managed to send to the other world in this way, that in a moment from you… Well, well?

LIDA: well, well? This is actually the whole reason.

Gregory can withstand a small pause of incomprehension. He tries to show support with his facial expressions, but it comes out rather clumsily.

LIDA: and what…, have you refused many girls in your life?

GRISHA: Yes, not exactly to many, but… maybe three… four… ten…

LIDA: Wow… One of the most popular, among our brother, if not a secret?

GRISHA: you See… I can't explain it even to myself, let alone to you. It somehow went from childhood on its own. Girls have been chasing me for as long as I can remember. This sometimes caused aggression in the children. Hence the squabbles, slander on the ground to start. And these "pleasantries" still accompany me through life. Constantly blackened, constantly under attack, constantly under the gun of the disliked and not heard… There are still more good people, I understand that, but… psychologically, it was too hard for me. One could not cope with this oppression.

LIDA: But I understand you have a lot of admirers, don't you? Didn't you choose any of them for yourself?

GRISHA: Somehow it didn't happen. I've met a lot of people, tried something, but… it doesn't work. It's all empty, and I can't do that.

LIDA: I Understand…

GRISHA: But what you said is strange. I find you quite an attractive girl. Interesting, with charm and inner fire. These girls are usually snapped up first.

LIDA: Well… but they didn't catch me.

GRISHA: So maybe the time just didn't come? Who got to pick up – a lot of mind is not necessary, but so that a really worthy person's life failed… for this, I think it's worth waiting.

Grisha pauses for a moment.

GRISHA: Am I wrong?

Lida shrugs.

LIDA: all right. Frankness for frankness.

The girl pauses and sits back.

LIDA: I was born into a fairly wealthy family. I've never known anything to be denied. I am an only daughter and of course I was spoiled. I didn't have many friends, because my parents protected me from the so-called lower classes of society. And with those who were on the same level with me-it was not always interesting. Although the classmates were developed, they were engaged in them from childhood, invested a lot of money in education, but… All those friends of mine – it was my parents ' choice, not my choice. I lived like a bird in a Golden cage. I was patient until I was thirty. So I was introduced to my fiance – that was the last straw. I suddenly realized that I was not living my life, but my parents ' life. I live a certain model that was not planned by me. And it made me so sick… I ran away. I had enough money to get away from the family estate, and I even made a new passport, changing all the details so that no one would find it. Tripled on a simple job and learned life as most people know it. To put it mildly, I wasn't thrilled. I then realized how my parents had crippled me. They did not prepare me for the realities of life, and everything happens! If my colleagues had been in my position, they wouldn't have lasted a week. But my inner core has come to the rescue more than once in times of despair.

GRISHA: But … it seems that he also gave up, since I met you here…

LIDA: Dal, Grisha. But not immediately.

Lida heaves a sigh and looks away.

LIDA: I managed to get settled in life by the time I ran out of funds. A rented apartment, more or less stable and not the lowest paid job. Some kind of relationship, as if even friends, though… girlfriends… is there a female friendship?.. However, there is. Up to a certain point.

GRISHA: it Seems that at this particular moment in your life there was an interesting man.

LIDA: Yes, you're right. Appeared. But, alas, not for long. Imagine, these friends of mine, they are almost all married, and before a man who began to show me signs of attention, they began to "twist their tail". Ah and the guy that… weak creature. Always chooses accessibility in favor of worthy qualities.

GRISHA: Almost always.

LIDA: Really?

GRISHA: I know it's hard to believe, but for a hundred men, three or four men are about the same.

LIDA: Men? Among men?

GRISHA: I didn't miss the point. There is a huge difference between the two terms.

LIDA (with a pleasant, engaging interest): I know this, but I have never met anyone who raised this issue before.

GRISHA: Just against the background of the vast majority, men find themselves in the shadows. And they usually don't want to show themselves. They live and live for themselves. They have different moral values, they are different people in essence. Quite different. But they don't need to show themselves. They are already found by those who must find them.

LIDA (after listening): How interesting you are. I listen, and like a smart book I read.

GRISHA: are you Kidding me?

LIDA: Oh, no, that's not sarcasm. I just suddenly realized that… That it looks like I met a man for the first time, the one who is among these three or four percent. And it's really quite different from the males I've met so far. You're right, Grisha… Looks like you're very right…

Grisha and Lida look at each other with cautious eyes, perfectly aware of what is happening between them now.

GREGORY (hesitantly): I… killed, I'm sorry. You settled on that man.

LIDA: Yes, you understood everything correctly, so my friendship with "earth" friends ended. But I'll tell you what… A woman is treacherous by nature. It doesn't matter whether she is from a rich class or from a poor one. She, one way or another, seeks to get what attracted her attention. The scale is different, but the essence and methods are about the same. I was disappointed in women, disappointed in men. Nevertheless, she found the strength to change her environment again. New job, new friends, new life. I even changed my apartment, my style of clothing, and, of course, my haircut.

GRISHA: Well… that's the first thing.

LIDA: this, by the way, is a very important moment and not only for women.

GRISHA: I Know. I've been long-haired and bald myself… now here, too, in an unusual style and form… Go on!

LIDA: AND … there's not much to go on. History repeated itself again.

Grisha looks down sympathetically.

Soft sad music is playing.

LIDA (heartfelt): It was so depressing. So everything is dimmed in an already not too colorful world. For whom to live, for what to suffer all this? No husband, no child… My family… it's still there somewhere… in the past. And my family, my own, which I dreamed of, which I aspired to…, I could not create. Tried… True, I tried, but… unable. I sat down in the kitchen in the evening and lit a candle. I congratulated myself through tears on my thirty-fifth birthday and, making a wish – an ultimatum, blew out the candle!

The music stops.

Gregory in bewilderment.

GRISHA: Desire is an ultimatum? I've never heard of it…

LIDA: do you Want to know what I made a wish for?

GRISHA: I'm interested, but … this is probably very personal…

LIDA: I'll say. I made a condition for myself. If I don't get married in twenty – four hours, then I don't have any more sense to live in the world! An empty life is what hell is. And I'm pretty sick of him.