The Great Ghost Hoax

“None taken,” Butterbean said.

“So, what do you think, Wallace?” Walt asked, raising an eyebrow. “She might be able to have a pet.”

Wallace shook his head. “No, that’s okay. I’ll find a new place. I was actually thinking about one on seven. That’s my favorite floor, you know. That 7C is pretty nice.”

“But that’s where Mrs. Power Walker lives!” Butterbean gasped.

Wallace shrugged. “I know. I get the feeling she wouldn’t mind. We’ll see. It’s just a thought.”

“Come on, Beulah. We need your opinion on paint colors,” Mrs. Third Floor said, hurrying into the hallway. “You too, Madison.”

Madison picked up the leash. “Do you want Butterbean and Walt, too?”

Mrs. Third Floor made a face. “No, we don’t need them. The ghost is gone! Besides…” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I have carpeting.”

“Ah,” Madison said, putting the leash away. “Sorry, guys.” She followed the others out.

“Offense taken,” Butterbean grumbled.

“Oh please,” Walt said as the door closed. “NOW she has carpeting? How insulting. ‘I have carpeting.’ Well, I have bruises across my rib cage, thank you very much. That’s gratitude for you.”

“I wouldn’t pee on her carpet if she begged me,” Butterbean said. (Although secretly, she wasn’t so sure.)

“Let it go, Walt,” Oscar said. “Think of it this way. Your dangling days are over. You’re safe now.”

Walt sniffed. “I guess you’re right.”

“Are they gone?” The white cat poked her head out from under the couch. “I thought those guys would never leave.”

“Tell me about it,” Chad said, slipping up the drain into the kitchen sink. “Where are the snacks? Jerome cleaned me out before he left. My entire stash of canned salmon is gone.”

He jerked the refrigerator door open with one tentacle and then hung suspended between the counter and the door as he rummaged around. “Herring snacks. Perfect.” He grabbed the jar of herring and swung himself back up onto the counter.

“Retirement isn’t for everyone, let me tell you,” the white cat said, settling down on Walt’s cushion and propping her feet up. “Mr. Wiggles wouldn’t have been happy staying here.”

“I wouldn’t have been happy with him staying here,” Chad muttered, sucking down half of the herring snacks. Butterbean was impressed. (Although she didn’t know how they were going to explain the missing snacks to Mrs. Food.)

“He wanted me to give you this, by the way,” Chad said, flipping a piece of paper in Oscar’s direction. It was a dramatically posed photo of Jerome, signed with an inky tentacle.

“An autographed photo…” Oscar breathed. “Just like he promised.”

“You should see the outtakes,” Chad snickered, spraying herring all over the counter.

“Great.” Walt eyed the photo. There was definitely some retouching there. “Now, did you want someth…” Walt’s voice trailed off. She held up a paw. “Do you hear that? What is that?” Her eyes were wide as she looked at Oscar.

He cocked his head and listened. “Oh no.”

A slight splashing sound was coming from the bathroom.

“It can’t be him. The water bottle was empty when she got back,” Walt said. “I looked.”

“Is it Chad?” Oscar asked.

“Still over here, genius.” Chad waved a tentacle from the kitchen. “I can move fast, but not that fast.”

Butterbean swallowed hard. “Ghost?”

“OH NO, IS THIS PLACE HAUNTED TOO?” Wallace wailed. It was so unfair.

Oscar flew over to the bathroom door, followed by the others. Slowly they pushed open the door.

“WHOOHOOO HOT TUB!” Marco cheered as he reclined in the sink. “This is the best. Do the bubbles again, Polo!”

Marco and Polo were lounging in the half-filled sink. Polo held on to the sides and kicked her feet to make bubbles.

“Nope, I’m outta here.” The white cat turned and stalked back into the vent behind the couch. She’d already had one bath too many that week. Flour was a lot harder to get off than she’d expected.

“Walt, Oscar, look, it’s our very own bubble bath!” Polo cheered.

“Just like Chad and Jerome had in the other place!” Marco said, splashing water at them.

“Except we don’t have a Jacuzzi. We just have feet!” Polo explained.

Butterbean climbed up to sniff the water. “I’m not going to fit in there,” she said, snuffling at the bubbles.

Wallace scrambled up the cabinet and slid into the water. He giggled. “Come on in, the water’s fine!” he said happily. “I always wanted to say that.”

Oscar landed on the edge of the sink and dangled his feet in the water.

Walt pawed gently at the water. “I’ll pass, but thanks.” She didn’t like to get wet. But it was good to just have fun for a change and not worry about everything. Especially pesky octopuses like Jerome.

She looked up just in time to see Chad flying through the air.

“CANNONBALL!”

Acknowledgments

This book was written in 2020, which wasn’t the easiest time to try to write something funny. Fortunately, I was working with some wonderful and very talented people.

Big thanks go out to Reka Simonsen, David Mottram, Kate Testerman, and everyone at Atheneum. You guys are the best.

Thanks also to:

My family, for being my sounding board (and the only people I’ve been within six feet of all year).

My quarantine buddy, Howdy, and her dog friends at Belmont Park (for giving her the semblance of a social life).

Kyrie O’Connor, for providing the latest in octopus news, and Peter Sagal, for his inspiring octopus anecdote.

My SCBWI friends, for being such a great support system.

The scientific and medical communities, for the light at the end of the tunnel.

And in memory of Christine Veillette. I was very lucky to know her and work with such a talented web designer.

And for providing much needed pandemic distractions, additional thanks go out to: Michael Jordan, the Championship Bulls, and the producers of The Last Dance documentary; Lin-Manuel Miranda and the cast of Hamilton; everyone involved with Ted Lasso; and Pashmina, Scoot, Beau, Melba, Peanut, Vesta, Broffina, Octavian, Rodney, and Ketchup, for all the sleeved aprons, relay tanks, and yodel sweaters. (I have plenty now, thanks.)

More from this Series

The Great Vandal Scandal

The Great Pet Heist

More from the Author

Night of the Living Lawn…

About the Author and Illustrator

Emily Ecton is the author of nine middle-grade books published under the names Emily Ecton and Emily Fairlie. She is also a former writer and producer for Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me!, the Peabody award–winning comedy news quiz on NPR. She lives in Virginia with Howdy, a dog who isn’t sure she believes in ghosts, but would like the lights on anyway, please. Visit her at emilyecton.com.

David Mottram is an illustrator living in Ohio who worked as a graphic designer for many years, which led him to pursue his passion for illustration. He paints traditionally and digitally with color and layers and line. He loves tacos, animals, tikis, and nerding out on art supplies. Visit him at davemottram.com.

Visit us at simonandschuster.com/kids

www.SimonandSchuster.com/Authors/Emily-Ecton

www.SimonandSchuster.com/Authors/David-Mottram

Atheneum Books for Young Readers

Simon & Schuster, New York

ATHENEUM BOOKS FOR YOUNG READERS

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This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Text © 2021 by Emily Ecton

Illustrations © 2021 by David Mottram

Jacket design © 2021 by Simon & Schuster, Inc.

All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form.

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The illustrations for this book were rendered digitally.

Jacket illustrations © 2021 by David Mottram

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Ecton, Emily, author. | Mottram, Dave, illustrator.

Title: The great ghost hoax / Emily Ecton ; illustrated by David Mottram.

Description: First edition. | New York : Atheneum Books for Young Readers, [2021] | Audience: Ages 8 to 12. | Summary: When Mrs. Third Floor visits and reports paranormal activity on the fifth floor, Butterbean and the other pets set out to find the truth and save Mrs. Third Floor from being scammed by professional ghost hunters.

Identifiers: LCCN 2020044415 | ISBN 9781534479913 (hardcover) | ISBN 9781534479937 (ebook)

Subjects: CYAC: Ghosts—Fiction. | Pets—Fiction. | Apartment buildings—Fiction. | Swindlers and swindling—Fiction. | Mystery and detective stories. | Humorous stories. Classification: LCC PZ7.E21285 Gq 2020 | DDC [Fic]—dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020044415