Play on 3, 4, 5 people. As if I gave it to you

2 ROOM

In the room, Masha is sitting on a chair, thinking. Galina was sprawled out on the sofa, half-reclining, her head in her hands.

MASHA: Annnnnd…

GALINA (to himself, muffled): yeah…

A small pause.

MASHA: Nnnnnda…

GALINA (to herself, dully): uh-huh…

MASHA: What do you think to do?

Galina removes her hands from her head, overcoming the hardships of her numb body, stands up, stretches.

GALINA: I think…

A slight pause…

MASHA (questioningly, eager for an answer): M?

GALINA: I think I just need to take a shower, freshen up! And cool your head, and … Yes and itself understand…, what to explain…

MASHA: Well, Yes, Yes…

Galina takes a towel from the closet and goes to the bathroom.

Soft lyrical music plays.

Masha gets up and removes everything from the table like a master. Bottle, glasses. Brings a basket of fruit, puts it on the table.

The doorbell rings.

The music stops.

Masha turns her head in confusion.

The doorbell rings again.

Masha rushes, not knowing whether to call Galina, whether to shout that for the door, whether to open…

As a result, it opens the door.

Enter Igor. A specific guy. Exactly a man, not a man.

IGOR (confident): Healthy, mother! How is it?

MARY (timidly): Hello. I… m… Will you excuse the…?

Igor closes the door behind him like a master, goes into the room, rubbing his hands when he sees a basket of fruit. Grabs a plum (or whatever the Director finds) and throws it into his mouth, smiling contentedly, turns to Masha.

Wiping his hands on his shirt, he stretches out his right hand like a peasant and introduces himself with a full mouth through a chomping sound.

IGOR (not sure): I'm Igor.

MASHA (timidly, hesitantly, reluctantly, holding out her hand in response, somewhat hesitating): Nice to meet you, Masha.

IGOR (confident): Yes not Masha, and Igor!

Igor begins to neigh with a throaty stupid laugh, at his own sparkling joke, but in the end he chokes on a bone, starts coughing, gasping for air.

Masha runs up and starts pounding him on the back. Igor finally spits the bone out on the floor.

Both exhale with relief.

IGOR (through shortness of breath): it Seems that the Almighty did not appreciate my humor. It was a good joke, though, wasn't it?

MASHA (timidly): Yes… it was a good joke!

Masha shows a thumbs – up gesture.

Igor quite pokes his index finger at Masha, showing a sign of recognition and affection.

MASHA: Well, how are you? Everything okay?

IGOR: All nishtyak! Thank you for not letting me die for a pinch of snuff.

MASHA: come on… What there.

IGOR: Listen, who are you, by the way?

MASHA: Masha I…

IGOR: Yes, I "smoked" it. That's what I mean… What are you doing here? Who are you here? Well there… sister, the wife of one of Stasinowsky?

MASHA: I'm Gali's friend…

IGOR: Gali's Friend? And I'm Stas's friends!

Igor again begins to laugh hysterically in his throat, meanwhile getting closer to the basket of fruit, but at the last moment stops himself, Recalling such a recent bitter experience.

MASHA (assessing the situation): Better not…

IGOR: Yes … perhaps.

Igor turns to Masha, a sly March cat grin on his face.

IGOR: and what, Mashenka? How can I be without you? Who will save me now if something happens?

Masha is flattered and confused.

MASHA (hesitating): Well…, I actually have a boyfriend.

IGOR: Seriously?

Masha nods guiltily with a childish smile on her face.

IGOR: I don't have a boyfriend!

Igor bursts into a throaty laugh, shakes his head, being in utter delight at his next joke.

Masha smiles with restraint, looking at this Holy spontaneity.

Igor sits down on the sofa like a master.

IGOR: Listen, where is everyone?

MASHA: Well…, Stas is still at work, and Galya… She took a shower…

IGOR: In the shower?

MASHA: Well, Yes…

IGOR: In broad daylight?

MASHA: Well, what's wrong with that?

IGOR: that's a little weird… What were you girls doing without me, huh?

Igor looks suspiciously at Masha. He gets up and creeps toward her.

MASHA: Yes…, nothing special, so.

IGOR (dangerously hinting at upcoming events): So we're all alone here now?

MASHA: I have a boyfriend, Igor, don't forget.

Masha takes two steps back.

IGOR (advancing): We won't tell anyone…

Masha is distraught, and she stops moving back.

Igor approaches her as close as possible, with only a few centimeters between their faces.

MASHA (hesitantly): Well…, I don't know, it's all so sudden … so…

Masha already starts to reach out to Igor to kiss him, but he changes his face abruptly and starts sniffing sharply, recoiling back.

IGOR (sniffing Masha's lips contemptuously): What's it? (sniffs) Cognac?

Masha is confused, guiltily blunts her eyes.

IGOR (after several more sniffs): Yes, exactly cognac!

MASHA (sorry): Yes, there was a case.

IGOR (furiously): Where is he?

Igor rushes to look for the bottle, looks under the table, rummages in the shelves.

MASHA: It's not there…

IGOR (annoyed): How not? What? That is, completely?

MASHA: Absolutely (hiccups once).

Igor sits down on the sofa with a sad look.

Galina enters the room in a Terry-cloth robe and Slippers. She has a towel on her head and a Cup of tea in her hand. She doesn't notice Igor.

GALINA (Masha): You know, it's better! Dushik, gulls … normal.

IGOR (Galina): Congratulations! Is the shower free? Not everyone here feels better… Can also try a proven recipe.

Galina notices Igor on the sofa, but this event does not give her any joy.

GALINA (to Igor): I'll give you a try! Go to your house and try it. You, by the way, what is there to do?

IGOR (her): Yes imagine…, walked past, I hear-chpok!

GALINA (to Igor): What do you mean, ppok?

IGOR (Galina): I mean, they took the cork out of the bottle!

Masha and Galina look at each other.

IGOR (Galina): So I can smell the source, go in, and …

GALINA (interrupts Igor): And I'm leaving! Come on, you don't have to sit here.

Galina approaches Igor busily, pulls him by the hand and leads him to the door.

GALINA: Stas will come late, next time you will sharpen your blanks. You weren't invited today, so no offense!

Galina steps on the bone that Igor spat out.

Stops in confusion. Looks at what's under your foot.

Raises the bone, looks at the same time questioningly at the bone, Masha and Igor.

GALINA: What the hell is this?

IGOR (Galina): This is my death! Koshchei had it in the egg, and I have it in this bone. Almost moved the horse here. As soon as I get to your house, there's always some shit going on!

IGOR (Masha): Last time… I came to a friend to help with the electrics – this one (pointing at Galina with disdain) turned on the switch!

GALINA (furiously, justifying herself): I urgently needed a glass of boiling water!

IGOR (Masha): Aha! And the main thing just at that moment it was necessary, when I was fully confident about my safety doing twists on the wires. Of course – banged!

GALINA (to Igor): Fuck you already!

Galina pushes Igor out of the door and slams it shut. He takes a couple of steps away, the door opens again, and Igor is back in the apartment.

IGOR (Masha): Or this one, too! I chop nuts once. Walnut. In their kitchen, over there (pointing towards the kitchen). Kolya, I don't touch anyone, we communicate with Stas, everything is fine. And here I once again just raised the hammer, this one appears … (points at Galina with disdain). How the hell out of the box jumped out, and how he screams! (he shouts, mimicking Galina in a nasty squeaky voice) Where are you looking? All the cookies are burned!

GALINA (Masha): Yes, I asked these fools to watch the cookies in the oven, I was away on women's business. While this and that, I go to the kitchen, and there Chad is already. And nothing. Laughing, something there for fishing discuss. And the fact that the embers are already in the oven blush – do not care about the frost!

IGOR (to Galina, indignantly): your Embers were thrown out and everything was done, and my finger after being hit with a hammer then hurt for another week!

Igor dismisses Galina with disdain, approaches Masha, and puts his arm around Her.

IGOR (Masha, friendly, warm): In General, friend, be careful with it. This is Satan in a skirt. I'm more than sure that she ate most of the cognac, too!

Masha smiles absurdly, looking at her friend.

Galina is furious! She leaves her mug aside and pushes Igor out of the door with both hands.

GALINA (to Igor, fiercely): Get out of here before something else happens to you!

Galina slams the door with a Bang and leans on it.

GALINA (to Masha, with a languid, tired exhalation): Obnoxious man. At least take a shower again in time.

MASHA: I think so… I'll go too. Come on, girl. Have a nice evening… There's some fruit I washed, honey, rest. It was a nervous day.

Masha hastily gets ready and leaves the apartment, leaving her purse in the confusion.